I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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