it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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