Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
