I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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