"it" just moved
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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