it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize