too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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