apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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