i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
