It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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