yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
