Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
