he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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