Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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