If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
