I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Randomize
