I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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