oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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