I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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