Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
