if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
