yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
