What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
