just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
nutella sex= disaster
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
