yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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