i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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