it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
