He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
