Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
