I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
accomplished twins. life is a go
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Still dying that you shit outside
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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