She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize