Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Kaley97 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

Fav 14 4555 922
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"

Fav 27 865 4825
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

Fav 99 1254 16397
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.

Fav 46 2717 8444
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work

Fav 18 6807 1446
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

Fav 19 6265 1334
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

Fav 1 864 2711
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

What are your plans?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.

Fav 1 1048 517
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way

Fav 0 28 47
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT