Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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