haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
