i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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