If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
