I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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