She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
