So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
where does the pee come out of this thing
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
