Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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