haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
