dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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