i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
