omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
