I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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