If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
