When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
