Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
