Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
