There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
