She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
