you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
