I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
