youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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