he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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