That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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