my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
