dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
