i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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